Thursday, October 8, 2009

Penguins for an encore?

I just learned what's necessary for the Pittsburgh Penguins to repeat what they did last season. It doesn't seem that hard, really. Over at there is a 26 page slideshow that shows what the penguins need to do for an encore. It can be found here.

It starts with the author commenting that there were 29 teams in the NHL spending their summers wondering what went wrong last year. I find it hard to believe that the New York Islanders were replaying their entire season, looking through tapes trying to find that one pivotal point in the season where they went wrong. After his quick intro, he breaks down the tasks necessary to "repeat." I'll provide a quick rundown. These points are in no particular order, as I am simply summing them up for your convenience. (And because they're clearly all necessary for a "repeat" season, so they're all essentially number one priority.)

#1. Matt Cooke needs to stay away from the puck at all times.
#1. Pascal Dupuis needs to score at least thirteen goals.
#1. Mark Eaton needs to score approximately 23.91 points.
#1. Ruslan Fedotenko needs to score 30+ goals, and "Shoot for the moon, just don't miss and land on the IR with a broken hand."(I thought that was clever, actually. When I read the "shoot for the moon part" I expected the rest of the sentence to be the ever common "even if you miss you'll land somewhere among the stars" phrase, because there are a whole bunch of stars between earth and the moon.)
#1. Marc-Andre Fleury needs to win the Vezina trophy (not possible. I'll explain below.)
#1. Sergei Gonchar needs to win the Norris trophy.
#1. Tyler Kennedy needs to score 25-30 goals.
#1. Chris Kunitz needs to score 75 points.
#1. Evgeni Malkin needs to score 50 goals and 130 points.
#1. Jay McKee needs to block 200+ shots and Brooks Orpik needs to reach 300 hits.
#1. Jordan Staal needs to just keep doing what he's doing(After all, he's Jordan Staal for the sake of Pete).

That's not really a lot to ask for if you think about it. But if you notice, nothing was mentioned about the playoffs. Everything mentioned above was for the regular season only.

I can't see how any of these accomplishments would create guaranteed success in the postseason. Does a Vezina trophy and a Norris trophy create an automatic Stanley Cup Finals birth? Does a 50 goal, 130 point season create an automatic Stanley Cup Finals birth? I don't think so. Therefore, I've determined that the point of this slideshow must be to show all the things that are necessary for the Penguins to once again finish fourth in the eastern conference.(That's what he wants right? A repeat of last season?)

This all sounds good, but there's one problem. We've already learned that it takes a league leader in wins to take home the Vezina trophy, and if Fleury accomplishes this task, I find it hard to believe that they'll be the fourth seed in the eastern conference. However, only time will tell, and who am I to judge? After all, from the looks of it there were some complex algorithms involved in the making of this slideshow.

1 comment:

  1. I like how it says for Fleury "It's time for a Vezina" like he's come real close ever.

    I'm starting to think Ray Shero's alias is Sergey Zikov. How else to explain that "29 teams wondered what went wrong" while the Penguins sat around and did nothing. Winning the cup doesn't make you perfect. Pittsburgh really did nothing to replace Satan, Scuderi or Sykora after the season. Scuderi was 2nd amongst defensemen in ice time during the playoffs. And say what you will about the role of Satan and Sykora in the postseason, they were top 6 scorers on that team.

    Maxime Talbot "single-handedly disposed of Detroit in Game Seven." He made some unbelievable blocker saves, if you recall.

    Just for LOLs. In 2009, 2004, 1993, and 1989 the Norris and Vezina winners were teammates. 0 cups, 1 final.