Monday, December 1, 2014

Looking forward to watching some All-Stars? Montreal, Riga, Chicago, and Pittsburgh are.

Ladies and Gentlemen, your 2015 NHL all star team! The Chicago Blackhawks/Montreal Canadiens/Pittsburgh Penguins!

Now, your starting lineup, based on leading votes per position in each conference.

In the Western Conference:

Starting Goaltender, from the Chicago Blackhawks, Corey Crawford!
At Defence, from the Chicago Blackhawks, Duncan Keith! And from the Chicago Blackhawks, Brent Seabrook!
At Centre, from the Chicago Blackhawks, Jonathan Toews!
At Left Wing, from the Chicago Blackhawks, Patrick Sharp!
And starting at Right Wing, from the Chicago Blackhawks, Patrick Kane!

Now, for the Eastern Conference:

Starting goaltender, from the Montreal Canadiens, Carey Price!
On Defence, from the Montreal Canadiens, P.K. Subban! And from the Pittsburgh Penguins, Kris Letang!
At Centre, from the Pittsburgh Penguins, Sidney Crosby!
Starting Left Wing, best player in the NHL, most certainly better than Nicklas Backstrom...Zemgus Girgensons!
And starting Right Wing, from the Pittsburgh Penguins, Evgeni Malkin!

I wonder who's going to win the Phil Kessel award at this year's mid-winter classic?

Friday, November 28, 2014

Rick Nash, no longer a physical player.

Rick Nash is a changed man. Long forgotten are last season's woes, and he's moved on to greener pastures.  The former goal scoring guru is back to his old ways this year, with 16 goals so far through the first 22 games of the season, good for 2nd in the NHL. After a short-handed tally this afternoon, Mike Emrick asked Eddie Olczyk what surprised him more: his struggles last season, or his bounce back so far this year. Ed's response:

I was more surprised, Doc, with how physical he was last year. I thought he was an effective player, I mean he had chances, he didn't have as many chances, but I think he was just trying to do everything. He was trying to get in on the forecheck, he was trying to hit players ... I would say probably more last year, Doc with the way that he played, or he was trying to be a really physical player, which, you gotta be a physical player in this league, but the way he was playing, I think, was more surprising. 

Rick Nash, hit totals by season, since 2007-08:

2007-08: 80GP, 67 Hits
2008-09: 78GP, 71 Hits
2009-10: 76GP, 121 Hits
2010-11: 75GP, 91 Hits
2011-12: 82GP, 104 Hits
2012-13: 44GP, 46 Hits
2013-14: 65GP, 11 Hits
2014-15: 22GP, 21 Hits

Does anything stick out here? I'm noticing something about Nash's level of physical play last season.  Eddie might have have accidentally stumbled onto something. Sometimes you can properly address a problem, even with all the wrong information.  Another thing worth noting though might be his opportunity. After averaging around 19-20 minutes/game for his entire career, his level dropped to 17:01 last season.  The shot totals were there, and realistically, so were the goals. 26 goals in 65 games isn't so bad, it's just, ya know...expectations and stuff.  That, and the 13 assists last season.

The boring truth, though, is probably that he's just been lucky this year, after being unlucky last season. With a career 12.7 shot percentage, that number dropped to 10.1% last year, the second lowest mark of his career. So far this year, 20% of his shots are going in the net. Eventually this is going to regress, and Eddie will blame the slump on lack of discipline in the defensive zone, or something of that ilk.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Neither was this one.

Creative fellas over there in SW Canada. This, by the way, was immediately following Getzlaf's goal to put the Ducks ahead 2-0 midway through the first period.  Yeah, you show 'em! We don't need Kes! We can get our asses kicked by Anaheim without him!

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Sunday, November 16, 2014

The (Original) Psycho Serial Killer Letter

Killing David Willard
by David Bozynski
Credit to Aaron

I brought him to the Riker Ave. dumps. There is a house that stands alone, not far from where I took him ... I took the David there. Stripped him naked and tied his hands and feet and gagged him with a piece of dirty rag I picked out of the dump. Then I burned his clothes. Threw his shoes in the dump. Then I walked back and took trolley to 59 St. at 2 A.M. and walked from there home. Next day about 2 P.M., I took tools, a good heavy cat-of-nine tails. Home made. Short handle. Cut one of my belts in half, slit these half in six strips about 8 in. long. I whipped his bare behind till the blood ran from his legs. I cut off his ears – nose – slit his mouth from ear to ear. Gouged out his eyes. He was dead then. I stuck the knife in his belly and held my mouth to his body and drank his blood. I picked up four old potato sacks and gathered a pile of stones. Then I cut him up. I had a grip with me. I put his nose, ears and a few slices of his belly in the grip. Then I cut him thru the middle of his body. Just below his belly button. Then thru his legs about 2 in. below his behind. I put this in my grip with a lot of paper. I cut off the head – feet – arms – hands and the legs below the knee. This I put in sacks weighed with stones, tied the ends and threw them into the pools of slimy water you will see all along the road going to North Beach. Water is 3 to 4 ft. deep. They sank at once. I came home with my meat. I had the front of his body I liked best. His monkey and pee wees and a nice little fat behind to roast in the oven and eat. I made a stew out of his ears – nose – pieces of his face and belly. I put onions, carrots, turnips, celery, salt and pepper. It was good. Then I split the cheeks of his behind open, cut off his monkey and pee wees and washed them first. I put strips of bacon on each cheek of his behind and put in the oven. Then I picked 4 onions and when meat had roasted about 1/4 hr., I poured about a pint of water over it for gravy and put in the onions. At frequent intervals I basted his behind with a wooden spoon. So the meat would be nice and juicy. In about 2 hr., it was nice and brown, cooked thru. I never ate any roast turkey that tasted half as good as his sweet fat little behind did. I ate every bit of the meat in about four days. His little monkey was as sweet as a nut, but his pee-wees I could not chew. Threw them in the toilet.

Friday, May 9, 2014

The (Original) Post

Fine. Since "I'm" airing all my dirty laundry for the world to see, I suppose I can elaborate a little on my thoughts. On April 8th 2011, the color commentator of the San Jose Sharks said something really stupid. This isn't uncommon, and it's barely even noteworthy because everything he says is stupid. But I'll fill you in anyway because I'm a judgmental asshole.

Joe Thornton scored a goal in the 3rd period against the Phoenix Coyotes, making it his 1000th career NHL regular season point. Afterwards, Drew Remenda got all excited about it and said this (paraphrased, because it happened three years ago and I don't remember exactly what he said):

There's a bunch of Joe Thornton stats out there today which are just absolutely incredible. He's the 78th player to reach 1000 points and he's 78th all-time in points. It's weird. It's the numerology man, it's crazy...

Well no shit, dude. He just recorded his 1000th point. Where the hell did you expect him to rank all-time? Do you understand how counting works, Drew? I mean, you just essentially said the same exact thing twice in one sentence. And then told us all how shocked you were that the result was the same.

I have something for you that'll just blow your mind. Did you know that Drew Remenda was the 4th person to ever be a Sharks color commentator, and he's in 4th place all-time for Sharks color commentators. THE NUMEROLOGY!!!! Man, it's a good thing I took care this today and not tomorrow, otherwise there's no way I'd be able to tackle ALL OF THESE MATH PROBLEMS.

P.S. Do I need to change my password?

Thursday, May 8, 2014

The (Original) Lost Post

Drew Remenda

There's a bunch of Joe Thornton stats out there today which are just absolutely incredible he's the 78th player to reach 1000 points and he's the 78th all time in points. it's weird. it's the numerology man, it's crazy...