REVOLUTIONARY

I couldn’t even wait another SECOND for this article to finish loading. Doug Armstrong is about to pioneer his ass straight to the HoF and I dare you to disagree. You won’t.

America, NEWS!

I have some pretty awesome news. The Columbus Blue Jackets are in the playoffs. But really how could they not make it? With guys like, Sergei Bobrovski, Artem Anisimov, Cam Atkinsonov, Jared Bollov, Nikita Nikitinov, Ryan Johansenov, Fedor Tyutinov, Boone Jennerov,  you know, some of the coolest players around.

I have some pretty terrible news. The Detroit Red Wings made the playoffs. Also, Vokoun is calling it quits after this season.....way bummer, no bueno.

End News.

Keeping it short today, the pretty terrible news is pretty terrible. Guess I'll have to eat some BBQ Pork Mac and check out these babes.....

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I was applying gynecomastia treatment to my abnormally large breasts and looking at about 50 photos of my friend’s balls the other day when I realized my life to this point hasn’t turned out how I expected.  In an attempt to improve short-term morale, I decided to watch YouTube videos of Sergei Fedorov, Alexander Frolov, Slava Voynov, Artem Anisimov, Valentin Zykov, Vyacheslav Kozlov, Nik Antropov, Sergei Kolosov, Anton Belov, Vladimir Denisov, Vladimir Zharkov, Denis Grebeshkov, Kirill Kabanov, Jed Ortmeyer, Leo Komarov, Nikita Kucherov, Andrei Loktionov, Maxim Goncharov, Igor Makarov, Maksim Mayorov, Dmitry Orlov, Mike Smith, Alexander Radulov, Andrei Markov, Anton Volchenkov, Sergei Zubov, Nail Yakupov, Dmitry Kulikov, Alexei Ponikarov, Brian Lashov, Sergei Bobrov, Grigor Dimitrov, Alex Dolgopolov, Alex Bogomolov, and Sara Errani. This, of course, didn’t help. At all. I don’t know why I thought it would. Those guys are all stupid. Except for Mike Smith. He’s pretty cool. But it did, for some reason or another, have me thinking about my blogging colleagues. Which is nice, I like those guys. But then I started thinking about my friend’s balls again...

FireDacque

Lend Me Your Ears

As I sit here and watch a commercial about gynecomastia, the growth of abnormally large breast in men, I can't help but think of my blogging colleagues. Dacque was right, we do need some leadership in this outfit. These rag-tag shenanigans must come to an end. So I, Marbles, will step up to the microphone and Karen Newman these sorry sons of bitches back to glory! Prepare to hockey and only hockey.

The New York Rangers confirmed on Wednesday that Chris Kreider’s hand injury, suffered three games ago against the Columbus Blue Jackets, is going to keep him shelved for at least the team’s next five games. J.T. Miller has been recalled from Hartford in the AHL.Steve Zipay of Newsday says "team doctors are still deciding whether..."

It's been just over a week since Pittsburgh Penguins defenseman Kris Letang rejoined his teammates at practice after suffering a stroke on Jan. 29. After finishing a blood-thinner treatment and being further evaluated by doctors, he's been cleared to play again; but the decision on when he returns to the lineup is now solely with him.

From the Tribune-Review:“It's going to be my call,” he said. “It's all about when I feel ready.”Letang, 26, said he will “still have to meet with the doctors” — as a precautionary checkup — before entering game action but said he will....

Being a Toronto Maple Leafs fan must be one of the life’s most confounding situations.

There you go, no fuss no muss no coconuts. No more fun, hell, not even my words, I copied these from Puck Daddy because Dacque wants to kill the very essence of what makes us the writers we are. You don't like reading about P-Kane's porno problem? You don't like reading notes I leave for you detailing how I want to murder you but were actually written by an early 1900's serial killer? Maybe you should choose a different blog to contribute to, because here, in this world, porno isn't only for pyros, it's for Patrick Kane...and pyros.