Ever see that one Values.com commercial featuring Stu Grimson? Ya know, the one where he's in the dressing room with his team during intermission getting bitched at by his coach about how he needs to be more physical? Then he gets a phone call from his useless wife because she can't get their brat daughter to go to fucking sleep, so he has to sing The Itsy Bitsy Spider to her? Yeah. That one. I'm sure you have, it's like ten years old. Have you ever actually taken a look at how bad it is?
I mean, I understand there's a stereotype that hockey players are tough, and they lose their teeth because of fighting and hockey sticks and pucks and manliness. But they couldn't just hire some dude with no front teeth to laugh for a couple seconds while a camera pans past him? Or just...not...do that? After all, Stu has all of his teeth, and he's Exhibit A for toughness and hockeyness and manness. I'm sure the writers were pretty proud of themselves when they came up with the idea to have a dude with no teeth, but was that really the selling point? The "must have" portion of the commercial that they couldn't do without regardless of how horrible it looks?
Look at these guys...enforcers...tough guys...fighters...manmen.
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| Tahir Domi |
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| David Koci |
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| Brian ShevDRAMACLUBrovich |
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| Darren McCarty |
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| Ben Willard |
Notice anything about these guys? With the exception of one, they all have their teeth.
Now, a note for our loyal fans, for our dedicated followers. I'm sorry. We've reached a new low. We critique commercials now. We quote letters serial killers leave for their attorneys. It's been a long, slow, painful fall from the standard we used to keep for ourselves. Remember the glory days? Remember how current and relevant we used to be? Remember "What Have We, Vanna?" and "Twas the night before Playoffs."? Remember "Hi" and "Soggy Depends® Sports News of the Hoary Type"? What happened to us? I think we need some more veteran leadership. Someone to lead by example.
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