I'm aware that 100 years of hockey is quite the mark. I'm also aware that some of the greatest players to play the game have suited up for the bleu, blanc, et rouge. Twenty-four cups, 132 points/eight losses in one season, Jacques Plante's goalie mask, blah to the third power. I'm so impressed with you folks! It's been quite the 100 years!
Bullshit. I can assure you that whatever type of media they put out about this birthday will almost completely ignore the last fifteen years. If we are to remember the Canadiens for all their accomplishments over this last century, shouldn't it somehow include all of last century? TSN continues to peddle stories about the greatest Canadiens of all time. "Who is the best Habs player of all time?", "Who would you vote onto the all-time best Habs team?", "1994 through 2009? I must have been asleep for that, I couldn't tell you a thing about it!"
Tell me one good thing that Montreal has done since 1993... no, really, take your time! I'm gonna start preparing my Thanksgiving dinner while you're thinking about it...
... ... ...
(some time later)
Oh! You thought of something?... No? It's been three days man! All of our T-day leftovers have been shat out already and you can't think of one memorable moment during the last fifteen seasons? Well, I can't blame you for that. It has been a real shit-fest in La Belle Provence lately, and celebrators of this birthday have done a fantastic job at neglecting this.
During this fifteen year collection of mediocre hockey, Montreal has missed the playoffs six times (seven if you include last year... I'm not sure who those fellers were that wore Canadiens jerseys against Boston in the Quarterfinals), but of their nine playoff appearances they were eliminated in the first round six times. They haven't made it through the semi-finals since 1993 and look to continue their sub-par play through this season as well, currently holding an 11-11-1 record and want to continue trading away mildly consistant players for potential draft busts. In fact, things have gotten s'ordinary around town that rumours are as hopeful and ridiculous as ever.
With the 2009 Montreal Canadiens battling through injuries upon injuries (What, you didn't think that there would be some boo-boos to go around on a team with an average player build of around 5'2'' and 143 pounds? Shame on you!), it looks like we can continue to focus on all of the success that this team used to have, and the great players that used to grace their sheet of cold water. I'm sure that this will keep Bob Gainey from losing his job and random sedans from getting torched. You people are really desperate for something to cheer about, aren't you? Well, just be appreciative that you don't live in Buffalo.
Who would be on my Habs all-time team? Let's see if I can put one together from the last fifteen years instead.
C - Vincent Damphousse
W - Mark Recchi
W - Alex Koval...zzzzzz
D - Sheldon Souray
D - Andrei Markov
G - Olivier Michaud
Make sure you remember to pick up your jaws from off of the floor before you leave. I know you're impressed.
Now if you'll excuse me, I feel like ordering some Hockeytown tapes and eating gelato until I keel over from depression. My poor Detroit Red Wings! They could miss the playoffs! My life is over!....... /dead
Just for shoots and ladders:
ReplyDeleteC-Jan Bulis
LW-Brian Savage
RW-Oleg Petrov
D-Stephane Robidas
D-Rory "All Star Starter" Fitzpatrick
G-(Best goalie franchise has even seen) Tomas Vokoun....Sure he gave up 4 goals in his only period but SMALL SAMPLE SIZE!
Also, it's definitely a "Hey! here's an excuse to do something special!" kind of league. I mean, Glen Wesley had his number retired last year.
Just for reals and seriouses:
C-Koivu
LW-Rucinsky
RW-Recchi
D-Markov
D-Brisebois
G-Theodore
Out
I remember that riot a few years ago. It made perfect sense. After all, they were the top seed in the East, and they were playing the 8th seeded Bruins, the team they were 8-0-0 against during the regular season, and they won the series in seven games. It makes perfect sense for an organization with 24 cups to riot and blow shit up after a first round victory in seven games against an 8th seeded opponent that they completely dominated all season.
ReplyDeleteYa know, I'm not sure who I hate more: the Red Wings or the Canadiens. It's really close. It really is.
I meant to say "It makes perfect sense for FANS OF an organization with 24 cups..." Obviously the organization had nothing to do with it. Sometimes, it's not the organization that makes me hate a team, it's their fans. Sometimes it's both.
ReplyDeleteI wish I knew how to edit comments. Is there a way?
There's two ways to edit comments:
ReplyDelete1. Tell your fingers to shut up. If they don't create a lousy comment, you won't have a problem!
2. Do what you just did and create a new comment.
I feel the same way about the Leafs. Really, who could I hate from their team? Stajan? Kulemin? They all sound like dirty players to me!
Their fans are just ridiculous, though, and I think that's why my hatred for their club is still alive. Otherwise, I couldn't give two shits about 'em. I do feel bad for the city of Toronto, they probably have a messy clean up today after Toronto won last night. RIOT!