Updated Standings: Fantasy Sochi Olympics

Check out how far behind me you all are right here:

The race for 2nd place

Welcome Our Newest Contributor!

It is with lukewarm pleasure and even murkier expectations that I begrudgingly emerge from the shadows of the real world to introduce to you, fair reader, the latest, greatest, most douchebaggiest contributor in the Internets long history of meta sports criticism criticism..........MARBLES!

Please, please save your applause for when we shut the blog down.

He likes kittens (but not puppies) and Black Cherry Faygo. WELCOME ABOARD, KIDDO!

We should start trademarking things.

Dacque, it looks like I'm not the only one who imitates your greatness anymore. If you're interested, their "Classic Clips" section is all highlights of you hitting crossbars and separating shoulders at the AP rink in 2010.