Friday, August 20, 2010

Here's my team.

Ok. I decided to draft a team. Here it is.

Editor's note: This post is REALLY lame. Apologies in advance. I'm bored though.


1. Ron Mallinger-Detroit Dragons- Game changer. He's pretty good.
2. Angry Jonathan Toews-Ice Men- He's not very nice. But man, is he good.
3. J.P. Swint-Wheat Eaters/Raw Doggers- Not a very good goalie, from what I hear.
4. Flash Man-Kyoto Heat/Megaman 2- You always need a skilled enforcer on your team. When you need a helping hand, he'll be there. Immediately.
5. Allen Park Jesus-The Landfill- Better hold your breath!
6. Logs-Ice Men- What a pleasant man. A real class act.
7. AJ the league director-Here a team, there a team, everywhere a team team- He'll play for any team at any time, really. It's always nice to have the law on your side.
8. Wally-The Bar- He'll have a few before the game, have a few after the game, he'll even have a few during the game. There's nothing wrong with that is there? Hopefully the league director won't notice he's on the team.
9. Cooper-Blades of steel- Look. The dude paid the entire team fee. So what if he wants to double shift himself? Plus, he's got real chemistry with Wally. Don't you know they were on a team together when they were three years old? Chemistry is important. It helps out your Intangible Resourcefulness Rating to Exhibit Game Altering Rational Demonstrations of Leadership Excluded from Scoring Sheet.
10. Scotty Sock Puppet-The Emergency Room- 1-2-1-2-3!
11. Brett Jones-Team AREYOUBLIND?!?!?!- He'll slide all over the place in the name of defense. Just don't make any ruling that doesn't go in favor of his team. Seriously. Don't.
12. Logs-Belle Tire- What a pleasant man. A real clas...What? He can be on two teams at the same time but he can't be on one team twice?
13. Jeff Wright-The Mighty Bomb Jacks- A solid 2-way forward who can play the point on the power play.
14. Tom DeLonge-Blink 182- He fucked your mom. And he wants to suck his dad, and his mommy too.
15. Subhumans-Undrafted- He's bringing back the dump and chase.
16. Ketchup-The Dangleberries- If we can pull him from his game against the 7-year-old kids at YP, he'd be a real asset to our team.
17. Vic-UFA- A quality back-up goalie is always a key element to a contending team. He'll stand on his head to keep the game close. Either that or he'll fall on his head skating to the other side of the rink between periods.


That's all folks. There's my fantasy hockey team. Last time I checked, a fantasy hockey team had 17 players, not 22. Make sure to keep checking back for mid season "drafts" and replacement players due to injury. As long as Scotty Sock Puppet is in the league, you can rest assured(and in peace) that IR slots will be needed.


I had 180 dollars left over after drafting my team, but unfortunately I had to spend it on 24 IDS Pro-Shot pucks throughout the season since Ketchup stole them all. Therefore, I'm left with $2.16.

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