Wednesday, January 7, 2015

S̶o̶m̶e̶t̶i̶m̶e̶s̶ ̶n̶u̶m̶b̶e̶r̶s̶ ̶l̶i̶e̶.̶ ̶W̶e̶l̶l̶,̶ ̶m̶a̶y̶b̶e̶ ̶i̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶p̶e̶o̶p̶l̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶e̶r̶p̶r̶e̶t̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶n̶u̶m̶b̶e̶r̶s̶.̶ ̶A̶n̶d̶ ̶I̶ ̶g̶u̶e̶s̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶'̶r̶e̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶l̶y̶i̶n̶g̶,̶ ̶p̶e̶r̶ ̶s̶e̶,̶ ̶i̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶a̶c̶t̶u̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶b̶e̶l̶i̶e̶v̶e̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶s̶a̶y̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶t̶r̶u̶e̶,̶ ̶r̶i̶g̶h̶t̶?̶ ̶M̶a̶y̶b̶e̶ ̶p̶e̶o̶p̶l̶e̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶j̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶d̶u̶m̶b̶.̶ Sometimes people are dumb.

Recently, some very intelligent people have talked about Patrik Elias's historic night, recording his 1,000th career point. According to Puck Daddy, it was good enough to earn him 1st star of the night honors. I know what you're thinking: Who the fuck gives a shit? The answer? Pretty much nobody. Including me, really. But I like to make fun of people anonymously over the internet from the safety of my mom and dad's basement. It makes me feel like a manman. So, lucky you Puck Daddy!

Ok. So, Elias had a goal and two assists last night. That's a nice game. Filled the stat sheet pretty well. On some nights, that'd be worthy of 1st star of the night honors. But other things also happened last night. First, Semyon Varlamov recorded a 54 save shutout, something that Mr. Daddy even mentioned was an NHL record for a visiting goaltender. Then, David Backes went and scored four unanswered goals against Arizona. 

To put things into perspective, here are some frequency charts of the above events.

Since 1987-88(When the NHL started tracking individual game performances) there have been twenty instances in which a goaltender has recorded 54+ saves in a regular season game. Three of those were shutouts. Bob Mason, congratulations. You were involved in a 7-7 tie against the North Stars in 1988, in which you stopped 56 of 63 shots. Man. The 80's. 

Since 2005-06(When the NHL started taking themselves seriously), we've seen a four goal game twenty-nine times. Why not since 1987-88, you say? Because. Man. The 80's.

Since 2005-06, we've seen an individual game of at least one goal and at least two assists two thousand eight hundred and thirty-four times, plus however many times that happened tonight. 

I understand why he was listed as the first star of the night, but we're not referring to career statistics here. If we wanted to find out the "first star of active career tonight", we could've done that. And it would've been Jaromir Jagr. And then Jarome Iginla. Then Sergei Gonchar. 

I wouldn't even care, at all, if it weren't for the fact that two people accomplished legitimately impressive feats last night. Obviously Varlamov has no control over how many shots he faces, so really we should be congratulating Colorado's terrible defence. But it doesn't change the fact that the dude had a 54 save shutout. And we all remember what happened last year when Tomas Hertl had himself a "four goal night".

Whatever. I'm dumb. Blogs are dumb. Sven is a biker in Road Rash II. Man, I clubbed that guy off his bike so many times.

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Numbers Never Lie.

Patrik Elias had a big night tonight, netting a goal and adding "two apples" in a 4-1 Devils victory. His 2nd assist, an empty net goal by Mike Cammalleri, pushed Elias's career point total to 1,000. He became the 82nd player in the history of the league to reach that special mark. So that got me wondering...where does he rank all-time in points? After a bit of digging, I came across this list. Holy crap! he's 82nd? THE NUMEROLOGY!!!

I'm dumb, blogs are dumb. Marbles are round.

Monday, January 5, 2015

The Greg Popovich of the NHL


Gregg Popovich, a man quoted repeatedly as saying "f*** the fans, I win rings," might be one of the best coaches in any professional sports leagues. Coach Popovich, hereinafter known as Pop-Pop, is known for sticking to fans, the league, whoever he wants in an effort to win games. This often includes benching players, often times when facing big-draw opponents. However you feel about it, he gets results.

The NHL saw some similar tactics by the GM of the Flyers, Ron Hextall. The NHL's CBA does not allow for team activity, including travel, from Dec 24-26. The Flyers played Nashville on Dec 27, meaning the team would have to travel on game-day. Ron-Ron, much like Pop-Pop told ESPN, "F*** it. I'm going to a honkey-tonk." He went on to add,  "The players came to me weeks ago. They wanted to travel the day before as opposed to the day of the game. I talked to them, they said everybody was on board," he said. "Once I went through the whole thought process -- we pay guys a lot of money, we're in the hunt for a playoff spot, we want to give our team every chance to win." Pop-Pop would be proud, except...

They lost 4-1 that night in Nashville, are 13th in the East and Ron-Ron is the GM.

Whatever, I'm dumb. This is dumb, blogs are dumb. Here is this.